Self Improvement-Who needs it?

I do I do… with the recent events in my life I needed it more than I even knew. You see life took over me and made me a resentful, combative, down right unhappy person.  Funny thing is I didn’t even know it until I lost something very dear to me.  I was trying so hard to put out the fires of others, that I was unaware of the inferno I had created in my own life. I had changed unknowingly into the person I swore I’d never be; the person when you see her coming you do everything you can to avoid interaction. I needed help!

My question is: WHY do we wait so long to tell someone we have an issue? WHY do we not confront these issues head on? WHY can’t we be honest with one another?  I can tell you from experience when we wait we cause more pain then we would have if we just took the time to share our concerns.  I can also assure you 9 times out of 10 the person on the other end of these discussions will be shocked by what you have to say, completely unaware of the strife they have caused.  You see when you get so wrapped up in chaos of our own life; you unintentionally unload it on the people you love most in hopes to get some relief; clueless of effects it has on the recipient.

This brings me now to thanking the people who even waited to long, because they had the courage to tell us what you needed to hear. Their words may feel like a punch in the gut or even rattle us to our core, but we needed to hear them .  Their words encourage us to take a long hard look at ourselves and  I am sure most of the time we don’t much care for the person staring back.  This when the good stuff happens; we begin to unravel, we break down and everything crystallizes. We can then stand-up, dust ourselves off and begin our journey to self-improvement.

Admittedly, I have been down the road to self-improvement for most of my life and have made significant changes, but there is always room for improvement.  I have read, listened to and attended a lot self-improvement conferences; it’s all moot if I didn’t apply what I had learned.  The one tip I felt I could apply immediately was to write in a journal. When I first started out I would go back and read my words  it was all rainbows and unicorns. Why wasn’t I sharing the dreadful times, the moments when I wanted to hide in the bathroom for hours? I was deceiving myself by keeping those moments off the page. I could not believe that I was in such denial. I couldn’t even share those flashes of pain with myself.  When we journal it is a place where we need to reveal all of it and just leave it all on the page. That’s right; leave it on the page.  Do not carry it, let go; burn the pages if you have to. I plan to continue this practice in hopes it can bring about honest change in my life.

Lastly, we can not begin our self-improvement odyssey until we can forgive ourselves and let down the veil so change can commence. For all of you on this journey be fearless; accept what you can not change and embrace what you can. We are all works in progress and it’s okay to say you’re still diligently working on your masterpiece… YOU!

One last piece of advice; if you know someone who needs some tough love, words of encouragement or even a punch in the gut, don’t wait! Muster up the courage before its too late.


“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
― Aldous Huxley

5 thoughts on “Self Improvement-Who needs it?

  1. The self improvement work is truly lifelong, isn’t it? There is always more work to do. Love this post. And love to you, my friend.

  2. kudos to you Andrea for taking an honest look and sharing that you saw all of you..with your imperfections..many people wouldn’t..also important to remember is sometimes others need to realize that they too have a part in the situation/relationship……remember this..when you are pointing your finger at someone..take a look at where the other 3 fingers are pointing..right back atcha!
    Thank you for your honesty!.

    • Thanks Lisa! I have had those three fingers pointing back at me a few times in my life. 🙂 Time to move forward and stop pointing fingers. Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now!

  3. We are who we are and we all experience the full range of human emotions during our lifetime. Perfection was never intended for this species. Learn from the past, live in the present, and consider the future.. Never apologize for who you are!

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