Our anxiety & how it effects our kids


The last couple of days our house has been riddled with anxiety & stress.  My husband had a pretty major surgery yesterday and I really haven’t slept for two days; so I am sure that has a lot to do with it.  We explained to the children that Daddy was having a surgery and the Dr. doing it was someone we knew; he even did a small procedure on Logan.  So, we figured that they were OK; they never said a word.  I kept assuring them the best I could that everything was going to be fine and they were helping Daddy.  I am sure they could tell that I was worried and was getting calls from nurses etc. but I could not leave I had to stay home with the children.  Finally, 9 hours later Philip was finally home and feeling completely awful.  Sophia looked so worried and Logan seemed to shut down. All night Philip was up and down making it impossible for either of us to get any sleep.   Today we had to go back to the Dr. to get him some relief and thank goodness it worked.  Now, it was time for Philip to finally get some sleep and the kids were not having it; they were being kids but it seemed that they hit another level of horseplay and antics.  I am sure they felt both of our anxiety about how horrible Philip was feeling but I was so surprised how that anxiety was translated into high pitch screams and loud bangs.  I begged over & over to them to please be quiet and they just would not.  They are usually so well behaved and respectful but this was different.  I guess I never took in consideration their feelings when it came to seeing their Daddy bandaged, bruised and looking like something out of a horror flick.   I also never thought about what I was giving off and how that must have been effecting them.  Even when we think we are calm and trying to make light of subject; kids just seem to get what’s really going on.

This entire experience really hit on a lot of what I am trying to work on with my inner parenting.  I know I am someone who wears my emotions on my sleeve and in adult setting that might work but with my children I need to reel it in a little.  It’s hard after growing up in a loud, emotional Italian family. My anxiety and fear about their father really caused them the same feelings and that was last thing I wanted for them.  I want to be a parent who they see as the calm during the storm not the gale force winds increasing the storm.  This is something I have to continually work on.

How do you ease your children when things are stressful? Are there techniques you use to calm yourself before speaking to your children?

Looking forward to a peaceful evening!

Cheers

2 thoughts on “Our anxiety & how it effects our kids

  1. Yea. It’s not always easy is it. We pray. At our house we have had some stressful situations. Mostly “me” being stressed. Those few days I prayed a lot. Then I put a smile on my face and we did fun projects. We kept busy. When I had those moments where I thought I was going to scream I would chant (in my head) love is patient, love is kind. . . That seems to bring me back. I also wear my emotions. Sometimes I will excuse myself and tell the kids that I am going to just rest for a few. That works too.

    KP

  2. i think that kids need to learn about anxieties like this as well! life is difficult & them seeing you struggle and then come out of it successfully is empowering and teaches a LOT. Some things may be beyond them, but my opinion is that we can only shelter them so long from the things that are difficult. This particular situation seems like it would teach them a great deal about life and how fragile it is and how grateful we should be for all the normal, boring days…we pray as a family & it seems like a great way for the kids to meditate and pass their fears onto something bigger than them. I hope some of that is helpful!

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